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24: T-O-U-C-H by Celita

September 9, 2017

 

 

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T-O-U-C-H

 

My obsession has a first name, its H-E-A-R-T

 

The process was simple as apple pie

If you took the time 

To find what I kept shut inside

Then to your surprise and even to mine

This virtuous dime would wine and dine to have your time

To hear your mind and share her own

As feelings would grow

Before you know

The time to go meant don’t let go

Let’s take it slow

You became my hope

And thoughts would flow and override the “no”

That should have come out

But was held down by the doubt that I’d ever feel this way again

So I don’t want it to end, I must dive in

We must become more than friends

So I indulge and then, the high has left

And then what’s left

Just the harsh reality

That I went down like gravity

As my obsession was yearning

I was oppressed by my burning

 

My obsession has a second name, it’s T-O-U-C-H

 

And that was just the mental

Let’s not talk about the physical

Touching my heart wasn’t simple

But if done, it bred a handful of open doors into my world

A lot of keys to this girl

All I needed was that touch

The contact that meant so much

And after my heart had been open

And all the right words has been spoken

I longed for the next step, but

I just want a touch and that’s it

I just want to hold and stop there

I just want to look, but not stare

I just want to feel, but not linger

I just want your hand and lock fingers

But want I just want I can’t stop

It starts out a little and becomes a lot

What was once small has now become bigger

I thought I could cock but not pull the trigger

I wanted to point and aim but not fire

But how many know I still killed a man

It’s me lying there on the ground

I’m dead where I stand

I committed suicide to resistance

It was do or die and I did it

Because I thought if I didn’t I’d miss it

I’d miss the chance to experience this intimate moment with you so I grabbed it

But still died having to have it

And as the facade was broken something inside of me arose

And it became clear that

 

My obsession has a first name, its H-E-A-R-T

My obsession has a second name, it’s T-O-U-C-H

I think about them every day

And if you ask me why I’ll say

That if you touch my heart you’ll see

Just how E-A-S-Y I can be

 

This is what it came down to

I became just as open as girls making money although you didn’t have to pay me

You only needed to say to me

The things that would persuade me

That you were interested in the things that made me 

And once that foundation was laid

Then the actual price had been paid

And I knew that if you really liked me that much

Then you would proceed with a look

And such and such

And then….and then…the touch

 

One thing leads to another

You know the rut

And now I’m stuck in this cycle so what can free me now?

I’m seeped in doubt

I’m caught in a bout

Ten count and I’m out

I scream and shout, what’s this life all about?!

This round and round?

This up and down?

These highs and lows?

How low can I go?

What’s the point in going high if I can’t stay at the peak

I’ve discovered my flaw, it makes me flinch as I speak

But now I need your help to break the habit I’m weak!

Father hear me, come near me, I’m crying out to you please!

I fell for the fake over and over, time and time, and now I’m through 

But I know that I’ll go back if I don’t know what to do

I’ve left the ones who touched me and now I’m running to You

But I’m not sure You can hold me because I’m a gaping wound 

I’m dripping with them, am I still pretty? Can you find worth in this life?

I heard you helped the hurt and gritty but I think You might think twice 

When you see all that I’ve been through and the struggle I’ll be

I heard You took the hard cases and You made them holy

Really?

Because I’ve never been anything but a mess

Help me, hold me, squeeze me closely, touch my heart man

Caress

I don’t want just my hand to be slapped, show me how to get out of this trap

Cause if not I’ll go back

CAUSE IF NOT I’LL GO BACK

Please, fill in the gap

I’m doomed in despair

I want to sing a new song that goes like this

Let me share

 

My obsession has a first name, its H-E-A-R-T

My obsession has a second name, it’s T-O-U-C-H

I think about them every day

And if you ask me why I’ll say (I think)

That when He touches my heart I’ll see how H-O-L-Y I can be

I’m not sure how this looks for me but I’m W-I-L-L-I-N-G

Holy is what I want to be because I’ll D-I-E if you don’t help me

I’ll D-I-E if you don’t help me

I’ll D-I-E if you don’t help me

 

 

 

 

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